Yes, I am writing a Pet Peeve today. It’s mostly because when sad things happen that are unexplainable, I need a distraction of something silly and pointless and inconsequential. So I’m going to rant about something dumb because looking anywhere else on the internet is just making me too damn sad.
For some reason, I work with a lot of young women who spend an inordinate amount of time in the Ladies Room primping. At first I noticed this when people would brush their teeth. Which is good hygiene. I mean, I don’t bother because I chew an excessive amount of sugar-free gum all day (incidentally, my dentist is always really thrilled with the cleanliness of my teeth – thanks Orbit!). But I understand that people want to wash their lunch off their teeth and have fresh breath all afternoon. There are a few girls who are even in there with floss. Maybe if you eat corn on the cob or ribs for lunch (and why would you?) this would be necessary, but it seems a little bit much.
Beyond that, there are a few girls who walk in there with a make up bag and spend forever re-applying make up (I swear I saw one girl wash her face and re-apply all of her make one day). It’s super annoying to me, but I’m not sure why. Maybe because if you’re ever hoping for a little privacy in the bathroom, you’ll never get it because there are people hanging out in there for approximately eternity while they preform a routine that is best left for the privacy of their own bathroom. This is not a runway, it’s an office. You’re not getting ready for a photo shoot, you’re sitting at your desk goofing off on Facebook all day. Get over yourself and get out of the bathroom.
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Any film award-distributing entity that doesn’t give Matthew McConaughey a Best Supporting Actor trophy for “Magic Mike” should instantly lose both credibility as well as whatever sort of accreditation is required to perform such a task. The Golden Globes should close up shop today rather than face the ridicule that is certain to follow today’s injustice. I mean this is to the level of Casey Anthony. This is OJ mouthing thank you to the jury. I have no idea how Hollywood wasn’t swarmed with powder blue helmets because this is maybe the one time in the history of civilization that an election should be monitored by an outside entity.
Are you f-ing kidding me, Golden Globes. Now I will grant you that the line-up in this year’s Supporting Actor category is a formidable one. Likely, if pressed, I would agree that Philip Seymour Hoffman is, on most occasions a slightly better thespian than Matthew McConaughey. But not this year. Not this role.
You could fall back on the argument that he was basically playing a version of himself. There were the bongos. I assume that the house with all the iconography of him was actually his house. He rarely had a shirt on. But that case is instantly debunked by anyone with a memory and an internet connection. If people aren’t rewarded for playing pretty much the thing that society believes them to be then how can you justify nominating Courtney Love for playing a crack addict married to a man more successful than her? Anyone remember “The People Versus Larry Flint”?
It’s not even so much that he wasn’t nominated. I mean that just shows a complete lack of understanding of the craft of acting (and I’m speaking as someone who has little to no understanding of it myself) and how a person can transform himself so entirely that you forget that he exists but now only see this figment of his imagination that he is, by some sort of miracle, projecting onto the screen. But what’s most astonishing is that after seeing Matthew McConaughey in “Magic Mike” that the Hollywood Foreign Press even bothered to watch other performances in other films.
There is not much I know for sure in this life. Institutions have failed my generation at every turn. Churches are corrupt; politicians lie; corporations grind up the truth for profit. But this…of this I am certain: there was no better supporting acting performance in a motion picture in 2012 than Matthew McConaughey in “Magic Mike”.
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