As a child, I hated Halloween. I was one of those really weird kids that was spooked by anything in a costume (Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny included), so anything related to the holiday was torture for me. Indeed, in every Halloween photo until I was about 6, I was crying.
As I got older, I had a more grudging respect for the holiday, especially because it falls into one of my favorite times of year. My mom always decorated with really cute Halloween decorations she got at Hallmark in the 1970s, which I loved. I would dress up with more enthusiasm and even had a few good costumes in there for a few years. When I was in college was when costumes started getting “sexy.” I remember being at a party with girls dressed as “Naughty Nurses” – they were strippers or something and it seemed really outrageous at the time. But those sorts of costumes have become the norm. The “sexy” version of anything you can think of is out there somewhere. Heck, this website even has a category dedicated to it. They are costumes that force your cleavage up to your chin and do not allow you to bend over unless you want the free world to see your ass and beyond. I won’t go all feminist about it, but I will tell you that I would never wear any of these types of costumes. They make me very uncomfortable. Dressing up to that degree just makes me want to go home and put on sweatpants. I don’t like what this trend has done to people’s comfort levels of how much of their skin should be exposed for the sake of a costume. There are women who look great and flaunt it, but they just make me feel bad about myself. Then there are the women who do not look great, and they just make me uncomfortable and sad. This is not to be sexist – a few years ago I was walking down Hollywood Blvd. on Halloween night and walked by a man wearing nothing but a fig leaf. That may have been my breaking point.
Another thing I don’t like about what Halloween has become is how thing have gone from being pleasantly spooky and cute to downright terrifying. Whatever happened to silly witches, black cats, and goofy jack-o-lanterns? I detest people jumping out and scaring me, so haunted houses and haunted hayrides have little to no appeal to me. This morning, as I was driving into work, I heard a radio ad for the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride. The dialogue of the ad went something like this:
Little Boy: Dad, there are people in my room again.
Dad: There’s no one in your room.
Little Boy: They’re here and they’re telling me to do things.
Dad: What kinds of things?
Little Boy (joined by a spooky voice, presumably one of the uninvited guests): THIS!!!
Cue sound effects that sound like someone getting gutted or disemboweled or something similarly gruesome.
It was really disturbing. When did the idea of a little boy’s father being horribly murdered become hilarious entertainment?
I just re-read this post and realized that I sound like an old fuddy-duddy. It’s fitting, my birthday was last week and I’m older now. Also, I had a version of this written earlier that I liked much better than this one, but Word Press deleted it on me, something I’m still upset about. I’m holding a grudge.
Come this Halloween, I will be sitting out in front of my apartment like the old lady I am, handing out candy to what I hope are cute and fun little kids. If you jump out of the bushes and scare me, I swear I will gut you.