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Archive for October, 2012

Zumba Dancing Prostitutes

There’s been a story all over the news this week about a woman in Kennebunk, Maine, who was apparently a Zumba-dancing fitness instructor who had a little prostitution business on the side.

Kennebunk is a charming New England coastal town, and  generally a bit higher end than most (the Bush family has their summer home there).  Scandals like this in towns like that always make me laugh out loud. On the surface, looking in from the outside, it seems like an idyllic part of America. But barely below the surface, it’s just as seedy and messed up as every place else on earth.  I like watching hypocrites fall.

There are a few things that are especially bugging me about this story, though, and they are both related to the release of the names of this woman’s customers.  People are freaking out. Why?  The men because they will get caught, and the women because they are probably happier being ignorant to what their husbands are getting up to in their off time (although any woman whose husband was going off to a private Zumba lesson should have probably already been suspicious).  The list is said to contain names of prominent members of the community. The horror of having them exposed for what they have done!!

The fact that they expect some sort of anonymity is baffling to me. Anonymity should be reserved for victims.  The last thing these men are is victims. However, it seems that some of the men may have been video recorded (eew) without their knowledge, thus technically making them victims. It’s such a weak technicality.

The other thing that makes me irate about people not wanting names released was something I read in this boston.com article yesterday.  A local resident shared his opinion about the names being release, and he was conflicted, because releasing names could  “cause marriages to dissolve and men to lose their jobs.”  I don’t know about the job thing – is it legal to fire someone for visiting a prostitute?  But the dissolution of marriage argument is beyond preposterous to me.  I don’t know what the sociological or psychological reasons are for men visiting prostitutes and paying for sex, but my guess is, their marriage isn’t so rock solid to begin with if that’s how they’re spending their free time. Perhaps this is something they should have thought of before they paid that lady for sex?  Worrying about what it will do after the fact is ridiculous. They’re not sorry they did it, they’re sorry they got caught. That doesn’t count.

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As a child, I hated Halloween. I was one of those really weird kids that was spooked by anything in a costume (Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny included), so anything related to the holiday was torture for me.  Indeed, in every Halloween photo until I was about 6, I was crying.

As I got older, I had a more grudging respect for the holiday, especially because it falls into one of my favorite times of year. My mom always decorated with really cute Halloween decorations she got at Hallmark in the 1970s, which I loved.  I would dress up with more enthusiasm and even had a few good costumes in there for a few years.  When I was in college was when costumes started getting “sexy.”  I remember being at a party with girls dressed as “Naughty Nurses” – they were strippers or something and it seemed really outrageous at the time.  But those sorts of costumes have become the norm.  The “sexy” version of anything you can think of is out there somewhere. Heck, this website even has a category dedicated to it. They are costumes that force your cleavage up to your chin and do not allow you to bend over unless you want the free world to see your ass and beyond.  I won’t go all feminist about it, but I will tell you that I would never wear any of these types of costumes. They make me very uncomfortable. Dressing up to that degree just makes me want to go home and put on sweatpants.  I don’t like what this trend has done to people’s comfort levels of how much of their skin should be exposed for the sake of a costume.  There are women who look great and flaunt it, but they just make me feel bad about myself. Then there are the women who do not look great, and they just make me uncomfortable and sad.  This is not to be sexist – a few years ago I was walking down Hollywood Blvd. on Halloween night and walked by a man wearing nothing but a fig leaf. That may have been my breaking point.

Another thing I don’t like about what Halloween has become is how thing have gone from being pleasantly spooky and cute to downright terrifying. Whatever  happened to silly witches, black cats, and goofy jack-o-lanterns? I detest people jumping out and scaring me, so haunted houses and haunted hayrides have little to no appeal to me.  This morning, as I was driving into work, I heard a radio ad for the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride.  The dialogue of the ad went something like this:

Little Boy: Dad, there are people in my room again.
Dad: There’s no one in your room.
Little Boy: They’re here and they’re telling me to do things.
Dad: What kinds of things?
Little Boy (joined by a spooky voice, presumably one of the uninvited guests): THIS!!!
Cue sound effects that sound like someone getting gutted or disemboweled or something similarly gruesome.

It was really disturbing.  When did the idea of a little boy’s father being horribly murdered become hilarious entertainment?

I just re-read this post and realized that I sound like an old fuddy-duddy. It’s fitting, my birthday was last week and I’m older now.  Also, I had a version of this written earlier that I liked much better than this one, but Word Press deleted it on me, something I’m still upset about.  I’m holding a grudge.

Come this Halloween, I will be sitting out in front of my apartment like the old lady I am, handing out candy to what I hope are cute and fun little kids.  If you jump out of the bushes and scare me, I swear I will gut you.

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