I have my most random thoughts in the shower. Sometimes they are actually clever or will help me solve some sort of problem – an epiphany of sorts. Other times, they are truly very stupid thoughts that I would be embarassed to share in a public forum.
At any rate, this morning my shower thought was about how much I still love the movie Billy Madison. Maybe not so random a thought (see #3 below). Here are some reaons why, all these years later, it still cracks me up:
1) Billy: “What day is today?”
2) The family maid is the only person in the film who can shock Billy the way he is shocking to other people, e.g., “If you stay home, you can help me shave my aaarmpits.”
3) Shampoo vs. Conditioner!! “Stop looking at me, swan!”
4) Bradley Whitford as the bad guy.
5) The entire O’Doyle family gets their comeuppance.
6) “No, I will not make out with you!”
7) Old Man Clemens and the flaming bag of poop.
‘8) Steve Buschemi as the guy Billy picked on in high school, crossing Billy’s name off the top of his “People to Kill” list…and then lying down and smearing lipstick on his face.
9) The moderator of the academic decathalon has perfect deadpan delivery of two of my favorite lines from the movie: “If there is any cheating — especially with my wife who is a dirty, dirty, whore — I am just going to snap.” AND “Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to you.”
10) “You blew it!!” To an eight-year old.
11) “If peeing your pants is cool, then consider me Miles Davis.”
12) “69!! Ha ha ha!!” followed by the confused silence of third graders
There are several others, and I will not be tedious and list every single one of them here. But you should re-watch this movie if you need a mindless laugh (and who doesn’t need that?).