Hey Kids….Here is Mike’s rebuttal to some of the comments about his wildly popular entry on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Incidentally, re: point #1, I know Cang, and he is indeed very good looking.
So recently I wrote a scathing defense of my favorite working actor, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Said piece of writing was then chosen by IMDb.com as one of their “Hit List” which resulted in over 13000 people reading it (or, at the very least, clicking on it and then realizing it wasn’t pictures of Jessica Biel and leaving). Of these 13k almost 50 left comments (of these 50, almost 3 were positive), I think that in the name of fairness (and due to the fact that I have a forum to do so) I should respond to as many of these as I am able.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s looks.
This was easily the hottest of the topics among the comments. But I don’t think that’s fair. I’m not saying he’s ugly (or rather my wife isn’t saying that), just that he’s not as good looking as Cang. Now, as Alvy Singer points out, most of you don’t know Cang but, sufficed to say Cang is really good looking. Twice on our honeymoon my wife lamented that she wished “Cang was here” (which was really odd).
Now, as someone who has been told that he looks like Stan Laurel, Alger Hiss and Steve Buscemi (not a combination of the three, but different people have said I look like each of them), far be it from me to critique anyone’s appearance.
However, that being said, Mr. Gordon-Levitt’s appearance is a plus not a minus. DiCaprio is distractingly good-looking. He grows that half-a-stubble and looks like a model shooting people in “The Departed”; or a model kiting cheques in “Catch Me If You Can”; or a model doing something with diamonds in that movie about diamonds.
It reminds me of that Jim Gaffigan joke where he says that he had a hard time believing Halle Berry was poor in “Monster’s Ball” because “she should just be a model”. That’s how I feel whenever I’m watching a movie with one of those other actors; the point at which they reach the greatest conflict is the point at which I feel the least empathy towards them. ‘Why is he doing coke deals with his idiot cousin? He should just be a model?’. My point wasn’t that Mr. Gordon-Levitt was unattractive only that he was not so attractive that simply putting his mug on a one-sheet would make $12 fall out of a tween girl’s pocket.
I need to see “Mysterious Skin”.
Sorry, kids, as previously stated, I’m a bit of a prude and even the most subtle depiction of s-e-c-k-s leave me squirming in my seat (be it in a theater or on a bus). Patrick said that “Skin” is ‘a brutal, emotionally intense movie that you will not easily shake.’. Thanks but I’ll take my on-screen sex as a joke made for and by teen-agers.
I don’t know how to use the word “addendum” (and I use too many parnetheses).
All debatable. As for the parenthesis; did Melville use too many exclamation points? Hemingway too few adjectives? Was Salinger too self-indugent? Yes! Yes! And yes! I will say in my defense that it is an honor just to be mentioned in the same breath as those writers. Thank you, Ethan, Chris et al.
(addendum: “addendum”: I’m pretty sure I’m using it right but see David Foster Wallace’s “Authority and American Usage” if I’m not (though traditional center-right on most issues I will plead the left on this one if I’m wrong)).
No, that’s the title of the section, not a warning. Like “Waking Ned Devine” before it (500) Days of Summer (their parens) has a spoiler built right into the title. Darragh, did you shout, “Thanks for the spoiler alert!” at the TV every time you saw an ad for this film? We are specifically put on notice that this relationship runs exactly 500 days, it is not a spoiler to say the two leads part ways at the end.
I don’t like Joseph Gordon-Levitt (and/or (500) Days of Summer).
There were a few people who must have read the title of the piece and not much more (or have no irony detector) and tried to argue with me that both are good. I agree (with myself). I guess I should have put this as point #1 because it is a bit of a stretch to think that someone who didn’t read a whole article they commented on is going to read the rebuttal to said comments on said article but, regardless, I am a completist and so feel it necessary that this be done.
Down the bottom, towards the end of the comments come two from biglaud. From these I will quote liberally:
It is nearly impossible to make someone who is alone and reading (not watching something mind you) laugh, but the above portion of this article did just that.
I was laughing so hard my dog came out from under the bed and started barking at me.
Good work MFH. You are definitely talented.
Where can I find more of your stuff?
Thanks for the laugh
If “melanie’s first husband” is not already writing for a living he should be.
Great points, biglaud. All valid. Some people would have problems with cutting and pasting compliments about themselves into the body of a blog-post but one can guess that these people don’t think 13000 people should know what they think about the career of a former child-star.
One can only assume that at some point some member of his inner circle will point out to Mr. Gordon-Levitt that we at East Coast meets West Coast are offering him some cogent career advice. One can also assume that Mr. Gordon-Levitt will read that advice. From there it is not unreasonable to extrapolate that Mr. Gordon-Levitt would want to hang out with these wicked cool people and maybe introduce them to some starlets.
Perhaps he hasn’t contacted us due to the moniker of the writer. But bear in mind that I am married, but I’m not fanatical about it. Call me!